love stories: mom + dad


For the first in my series of love stories, I wanted to start with my mom and dad.
They have been married now for 54 years. I have heard a lot of stories about college (where they met) but I have never as an adult asked them how they fell in love, or how did they know they were each others “one”.  I asked them both two simple questions. While my father (a writer) and my mother (a professor) had very different reactions to my questions, they both said it wasn’t a singular second, but it was based on friendship, that grew over time, and transformed from a friendship to a forever romantic love. However, in separate conversations they both mentioned a specific night, that they both knew (it was the same night).


Was there one singular moment when you knew you fell in love?

Dad: I seem to remember getting to know your Mom over a period of maybe six months. I was a junior at Brown. She was a sophomore. I met her the first day of a theatre class. I remember, of course, that she was very beautiful. It wasn’t a big class, so we started talking and then going out for coffee and going out for coffee more and more and then there was a night – it must have been six months after we met – that I walked her back to her dorm and it hit both of us that it was more than a good friendship.  And it proved to be, didn’t it?

What about your love (or loving somebody) makes you a better person? 

I think loving somebody – anybody – is good for you because it makes you think beyond yourself.  Putting yourself second to someone else – that’s it.


Mom: love is private, it is a bond that two people share together. The one day you make it public is your wedding day. We were friends for a long time before we fell in love, but I do remember one date we had when I knew we would get married.

Pictured above Their 50th wedding anniversary & their wedding day, June 13, Bloomfield Hills, MI. Below, biking around Martha’s Vineyard, 1960. I love the 1950’s bridesmaids dresses! And I can’t get over how handsome all the groomsmen look in their white dinner jackets! Have you ever asked your parent’s their story? How about you? What defines love for you? xokate




Menu